Jail or free-wheeling inbreeding

ok, i've posted and posted about the political and social status of ukraine so much that i've neglected to say anything about what i'm learning or some of the more positive and fun things happening here.

so.....


i've met some really incredible folks here. ywam had a thanksgiving day feast yesterday. i made mac and cheese (mmmmmm) and we ate (way too much) american food. but it was really nice. felt like my family. we were all eating on paper plates, sitting in a huge room, like thirty of us. it was loud and wonderful. we also spent some time playing games at one of the girls' flat and played uno until eleven or so. it was really great.

today i went to church and then had lunch with my new friend who, incidentally, lives in clearwater. crazy, we're from the same area and met here. fun stuff.

i'm really learning a lot about praying for your enemies these days. it's something that we're told to do, but have the hardest time doing with a truly sincere heart. it's tough to pray objectively for them, and not "Lord, smite them!" but i'm also learning that maybe it's not so awful to pray that way either, if it's for the purpose of the good of society (have you read the psalms!?!?) i dunno... it's a tough place to be, and i can imagine that for the ukrainians, it's even tougher.

on a side note, the guy who looks like john cusack is here again in the internet lab. it's crazy. i've got to work up the nerve to talk to him one day. maybe... now i just gotta learn russian (i don't think he speaks ukrainian)...

ok, some of the latest things i've heard:
friday the parliament voted (even yanokovich supporters) for a third tour or elections. monday the supreme court will either confirm this and make it happen, or not. if so, awesome, pray for it to be honest. if not, pray that a civil war won't happen!
the general feeling is quite confident that the sc will vote for the additional election. pray pray pray!
also some things i was told this weekend: true or not, i know not...
yanokovich called the governor of each region of ukraine (similar to our states) in one by one and beat them. yup. this happened prior to the second election one man lost three teeth, the governor or ternopil region (where i am) had a black eye. the husband of one of the teachers at my school is the doctor who examined him for broken ribs. nuts! oy...
also, in the east, they are showing propaganda (paid for by russia) that is a commercial that shows yushchinko then hitler over and over in different scenarios. basically feeding the eastern people the idea that he will be an evil dictator and that yanokovich is the only salvation. explains why the crook got so many votes. it's really sad.
also, they reported here that russia spent 900 billion (i think the man meant million) on the ukrainian election. bad bad bad! putin is a bad man. we need to pray for him. and yanokovich, and yushchinko. and the rest of this country.
thanks you guys for actually reading all this stuff. i know it can get tedious when it's not happening to you, but i feel really passionate about it! i'm even sporting my orange and a ukrainian flag in on my purse when i go out.
yushchinko moshch presidant! (yushchinko our president!)

the supreme court announced last night (ukrainian supreme court that is) that the election's official result will not be announced until monday when they've reconsidered it all. so we wait. western europe, the u.s. and canada are all for yuschinko, russia and china are for yanokovich. we are still in that state of waiting here. tension is rising more, and as i mentioned before, the people are just waiting for someone to make the first move. the news channels announced yesterday that they will henceforth be reporting the truth. they were forced to be censored this whole week. the eastern part of the country didn't know there were even protests. they were being told to be afraid of yuschinko and that if he is elected, they will lose their pensions, their children will not be able to go to college, etc. hmmm, russia is back to its old soviet propaganda tricks again. nuts. anyhow, they are now all reporting the exact news as it comes to them, rebelling against the government. good for them. this morning when yuschinko left his home outside kyiv to head to the center, he got halfway there to find a large semi truck overturned across the road, making it impossible for them to go. there was no way around, no driver, and no policemen. scary. i am not sure what happened after that. so anyhow, things are at a stand still right now. i think i'll know more monday. i hope everyone enjoyed their coma-inducing meals yesterday and that as you are ushering in the christmas season, you will continue to pray for this country. i can't WAIT to get home.

so it appears that by and large, the people here are willing, but not chomping at the bits, to resort to violence, and would prefer a peaceable end to this standoff.

i hope that everyone is having a fabulous thanksgiving. among the things i'm thankful for this year, that have really hit home are: my security, my freedom, and the peace of my country. i may not adore GW, but i will say that i am grateful that i am safe because of some of the stands he's made.

news today: two more planes full of russian soldiers arrived in kyiv yesterday. the announcement was made, officially, from the capitol, and yanokovich is the president. even colin powell rejects this ruling. so the country officially started a strike today. i'm certain that there were more people in the centre today than there have been prior. i'm also certain that they are not going to back down, come what may, and the government either will have to attack them, or participate in the longest standoff imaginable.
the government shut off cable last night during the news hours because they said that it was the fault of the "true news channel" (the actual name) that this revolution started. they only want the people to hear their take on things. this feels a little like the beginning of a sci fi novel.

so even with the announcement made, since neither side has made a move, the tension still remains, and the atmosphere is insane.

the yuschinko crowd refuses to attack, b/c they want to demonstrate that they are the ones in the right, and all that is necessary for them is to just claim it. if yanokovich wants to "take" it, then his camp will have to strike. the other side feels the same. i don't know what will happen, probably some extremist from either side will start the whole thing, but i'm really praying (for the sake of the people) that it will end in a bloodless and hasty manner.

happy thanksgiving. today, be sure to hug your family, tell them you love them, then tune into your biased, but honest news stations, and think of me :) pray for the people of ukraine!!!!

so....


two in one day. i know, don't die of shock. and due to the fact that the quotation mark key is locked to give me quotation marks rather than apostrophes, i''m just going to leave them as is and not backspace as i did in the second sentence b/c it takes too much work.

*whew*


well, if you''ve seen the second LOTR movie, you''ve experience the pre-battle scene at helms deep. there they are, the elves and men lined up across the top of the wall, arrows aimed, the oracai army lined up, snarling and pounding their spears on the ground to intimidate. the tension so thick you could suspend little fruits in it and call it desert (sorry, cut it with a knife is too cliche). everyone is expectant, and then someone waits for one side to make the first move. (then by a blunder, the men do this and thus begins the battle).

this is the atmosphere here. in kyiv, there are now 1 million people. some for yuschinko, some for yanokovich. all expectant. as i mentioned earlier, there are russian troops and the ukrainian army is divided. now there are busses of special soldiers ready and waiting to make a move. the russian army is posted all along the border of eastern ukraine as well. they will announce any moment whom they are declaring president. and both sides wait anxiously for this announcement. the results will most likely determine who will make the first move. this is crazy. i gotta remember to breathe.

new news:

still about 20K people in my city protesting. the markets are closed, the ground is covered in a thick blanket of ice and slush. the temperature is -2c. people are walking around in orange (the reform party's color), blue and yellow (ukraine's colors) and wrapped in flags, wearing yuschinko ribbons around their heads, anything to show support. i was kept awake last night again by the cries in the center (a half mile away). this is surreal. seriously.

sitting in the office today, the bookkeeper, lyudmila, received a phone call and exclaimed (in ukrainian) "No! God help us, please." and burst into tears. she got news that her son is on a bus headed to kyiv and there were forty or fifty others with him. the army of ukraine is split down the middle as to which side to serve. and yesterday, russian president, vladimir putin sent 800 russian troops overnight into kyiv. they were meeting with the president (current) and yanokovich (bad guy). what they will do, we don't know yet.

last night two men in a van were pulled over on the road to kyiv. the van was full of explosives. they confessed that advocates (in high places) of yanokovich had paid them $250K to put the van in the square of kyiv and detonate it. the aim is to start a civil war, because yanokovich knows that he can outman the west, and that many of the resources (such as natural gas, the main source of heat in ukraine) are from russia, and they can deprive them of it at a critical time of the year. this is crazy. the west imports most of its goods from russia, as do the surrounding countries (poland, romania, hungary), so even with the expected support of the surrounding countries, western ukraine is not guaranteed any help in a physical way.

a civil war. the people here in ternopil don't want violence, but i believe they are willing to go through with it if that's what it takes. man, this is not like anything i can really convey or describe.

i realize that it's difficult to really wrap your mind around it. if i weren't here, i would probabaly (honestly) not care as much as i should about all this. it would just be some names on a page and some pictures of suffering that i would look at from the warmth and comfort of my home. but being here is insane. my whole idea of war, of what is and what is not worth fighting for is really changing in some ways, and solidifying in others.

i've never been pro-violence, nor a complete pacifist. i believe some things are worth defending by any means necessary, but to see these beautiful people and know that some of them could be hurt or killed really hurts me. sacrifice is often necessary, but it's a much harder call to make when those sacrifices could be people you know and love.

please continue to pray for the people of ukraine. and pray for me, i gotta say i'm getting a little nervous.

ok, new developments:

yesterday, ukrainians everywhere (particularly in ternopil and l'viv) rallied on the train tracks to block travel. yesterday they only allowed one train to pass from l'viv to kyiv (it was carrying protestors). my co-worker misha took off the rest of the week to go protest in kyiv. there were 200K people in the centre there yesterday. there were 30K here in the centre. businesses closed, school is cancelled all week, and it's NUTS!

i can't go anywhere without hearing chants and cheers of "yushinko! yushinko!"

people stopped by the train (main form of travel) chartered busses northeast to kyiv to protest. police blockaded the roads from the west. however, yanokovich demonstrators received a POLICE ESCORT. crazy.

i keep hearing things from people like "we won't rest until we have claimed victory." and officially three regions, and most major cities in the west (including kyiv) refuse to acknowledge yanokovich's victory and will obey only yushinko. there is talk of dividing the country into two ukraines. crazy. civil war is at hand, i am sure of it.

there are 200 tents set up in kyiv (in six inches of snow and water) where people are living until this is resolved. that resolution may not come anytime soon. it's hard to speculate how this "revolution" will flesh out, other than peaceful demonstrations. i'm sure violence will happen at some point, but i suppose it will be begun by the yanokovich people. the yushinko supporters are more set on just striking and shutting out yanokovich peacefully.

someone in government, the head of police maybe, made the following statement about stopping train travels yesterday, "someone will pay the price for this crime." but how do you punish fifteen thousand people who weren't arrested? oy.

prior to the first election, the government announced that they would be doing some things to show their power. the city was without water wed-saturday of that week. hmmm... coincidence, i think not. i'm guessing that the government will try to pull something like this on the west. maybe some type of embargo of goods or something. starve the people into submision. i'm not sure if that's possible in the productive west, but it would further divide the nation as a whole, and energize their cause.

i reiterate: pray for the people of ukraine.

well, the results are in. yanokovich "won" the elections here in ukraine. i use the term "won" loosely, as many of the documents were falsified, and the popular opinion poll showed yushinko as winning by ten percent.

pray for the country of ukraine.

in a speech earlier this week, the incumbant president, mr. ican'tspellhisname, was giving a speech about the vote that was to take place the following sunday (yesterday). he said that the country "will not allow [yushinko's election], and we in the government have the power to enforce our plan." heavy. hearing this reminded me of the days when iraq was having "open elections" and had only one candidate. sad.

well, the people here in ternopil (and every other sizeable city in the west, plus kyiv, which is in the east, but is pro yushinko) are not taking it lightly. people were all decked out in pro yushinko orange banners, flags, clothes, etc. i was walking to drop off film today and i heard chanting "give us yushinko" and so i walked down towards the government building. i was in awe of what i saw. fifteen thousand ukrainians protesting, chanting, beating on the doors of the government headquarters, demanding yushinko as president while the terrified government employees watched out the windows. there was not a single policeman in sight. they are pro yanokovich, so they disappeared today. crazy. the demonstrators were also spread across the entirity of the railroad station and tracks halting cross country travel. this whole part of the nation is in a state of strike.

in kyiv, there were 150K this afternoon. the demonstrations started at 6 am, and are still going on. it's nuts here. seriously.

i don't feel like i'm in danger, as i'm in the extreme west and anyone pro yanokovich is in hiding (gov't employees, communists, etc). i will say this, i'm concerned for the people of ukraine. this will not end without a revolution. already in kyiv there were numerous bomb threats. yesterday during voting, there were actually found (undetonated) two firebombs at different voting polls. this government is so crooked. these people have no hope except for that of the people here who genuinely care. i am finding this to be young, old, rich, poor.

this is something that, rather than dividing, seems to be uniting the people of ukraine. the media here is biased toward yanokovich, therefore, they make it to sound as if all of the east was for him. however, the votes showed differently. oddly, though, two precincts reported 100% votes for yanokovich. impossible. what happened was that they threw out all votes for yushinko. can you imagine?

that is the state of affairs. when i figure out how i am feeling about this better, i will post it.

i am embarrassed that americans make such a big deal of such small things in our government at times. this is one of them. i am realizing just how blessed we are, and praying that these people will arrive at that point in their government one day.

again, pray for the people of ukraine.

ok, as a follow-up to what a few of my family members referred to as a saaaaaaaad end of the world post, i will post something lighter.


it has been snowing off and on for two days now. yesterday it was about -4 celsius (which is 25 fahrenheit). the wind chill was in the neighborhood of -6 fahrenheit. brrrrr. 20 or so mph gusts. crazy. so what do my friend dawn and i decide to do? that's right, walk to a market two kilometers (one mile) away to buy some pumpkin for the bread she's making for thanksgiving. we went uphill one way, then took a different way back, which was uphill. so when i'm old, i can say such things to my children as "when i was in a ukrainian orphanage" and "i had to walk two miles in the snow, uphill both ways to buy groceries..." pretty cool, huh?

i was supposed to be in kyiv (that's kiev to all you americans, bah) this weekend, but it got cancelled b/c of the unrest over the elections and whatnot. we will find out soon the results. i wonder sometimes if God isn't removing me from here for my protection, that's fatalistic, but it could be true. who knows.

in other news, i figured out a way to keep from having to see the pornography that folks seem to love to look up in this public lab. since it's cold now, i can just hang my scarf over the partition (which is tranparent, why it's there, i know not) and abracadabra, i have a porn-free line of vision. w00t! now if only i can figure out a way to not have to smell all the folks who smell like sausage... ;)

i went to a chinese restaurant tonight. it was really REALLY good. i had a nice time of fellowship with my friend dawn (american) and laryssa (ukrainian, but lived in texas as an exchange student) we are all celebrating thanksgiving together with some people from YWAM next saturday.

i'm having a great time here, and i know that it was God's will for me to come, and although i wishi could stay longer, I am trusting that He will direct me how i need to go. now if only i can figure out how to hear him best... :)

today i feel a little like a multi-colored wad of mixed up play doh. i'm still not that indecipherable shade of brown that happens when thoroughly mixed; i am still salvagable, but i feel like a formless blob emotionally, full of every emotion in the spectrum.
no, i don't have pms.
but it is with a heavy, but resolved heart that i make this announcement.
after taking two weeks to pray, fast, seek "God's will" (whatever that means) i have decided that the course of action best for my situation is to head home in december, work, and then return in july.
i will be back in ukraine in july working as a teacher for a month. they need another teacher, so that part worked out well. but now i'm so heavy with a feeling of loss and grief. i'm leaving behind something really wonderful, but i'm doing what i must. barring a financial miracle, this plan will be best for my family and myself.
mom and dad have been awesome. they never once provided an opinion, b/c they wanted the decision to be all mine . i love them for that. they're good parents.
i've been learning a lot lately about desire. i had really lost touch with what i really desire in life. i'd lost touch with emotions and how to really feel. and i have to say i had an odd reaction today after i talked to my co-workers.
i was feeling really heavy, my heart actually hurt, and i began to cry a little and thank God for the pain. it just felt good to hurt. to feel something. that's weird, but it is really true. i think that maybe God, in his infinite wisdom, and from his incredible vantage point of the story of eternity, saw that i needed this to really begin to feel. to realize that my "super-logical" thinking side, on which i rely so heavily, has never been what i'm naturally pre-disposed to. it's a defense mechanism to avoid hurt. but in avoiding hurt, i also avoid the more positive feelings. i remember when i used to go more on emotions, and i felt free. i was the prodigal, not the brother of the prodigal, living in legalism and bound in theories and logic.
does it still hurt? yes. will it for a while? yes . am i worried i look like a failure? of course, i'm prideful. but i'm trying to embrace the pain and mourn this thing. i think that will be the best way to go about it.
thanks for all the prayers and concern. i love you guys.

this afternoon i had the wonderful opportunity to attend a lutheran bible study at the home of two american ladies. there were three of us, and five ukrainian ladies who all speak english. we were studying psalm 37, and the talk of not fretting over the acts of evil men really got a discussion started about the state of the economy/politics in ukraine.

i found out some interesting things:
1. yushinko was winning in the polls, they supressed votes and falsified documents to make it look even. apparently the government went so far as to fire nine of the region directors whose regions voted in favor of yushinko rather than the prime minister, yanokovich (whom russia favors, who is a criminal, who wants to lose the independence of ukraine in favor of economy over freedom).
2. yanokovich had a huge meeting with all of the members of the ukrainian police force last week in a huge auditorium/stadium. the purpose of the meeting was to discuss how to intimidate people at the polls and how to "influence" people's votes.
3. the government employees favor yanokovich because they are afraid they will lose their jobs. they went as far as to take all people in the mental institutions/mental retardation centers to the polls, then vote for them. they also informed all inmates that if they did not vote for yanokovich, they would have time added to their sentences, receive none of their mail, no visitations, and be beaten.
4. if yanokovich wins the election on november 21, there will more than likely be a huge civil revolution within one year. my guess would be within six months, the way the people talk.


my mind has a hard time comprehending this. this is so different from anything i've ever seen. i really have no mental skeleton to even build this body of information on. most americans lack even the concept of such a situation. it's so easy for my american mind to really buy into the fact that my life, my country's life, all fits into the grand story of humanity... but these folks are really struggling to even store up enough money to buy bread in the potentially dry economic times ahead for them. when you are hungry, hunger in the world doesn't matter to you. thus is the situation with the ukrainians. many of them worry if there will be an independent ukraine in the next four years.

please pray for the people of ukraine, and please pray about the elections in the next two weeks or so.

I am walking down the cobblestone streets of Ternopil this evening, and I hear the sound of singing. This is not the sound of the random street singers, this is the sound of a thousand or more voices. My interest is piqued. I continue down the street, wondering if there is something going on at the opera house on the center square. as I near the centre, I am greeted by at least 1,500 Ukrainians, waving Ukrainian flags, Yushinko "Tak!" ("Yes!") flags, and singing the Ukrainian national anthem. I walk closer to find that these people have turned out for a rally to support the western-thinking leader of the reform party in Ukraine, who happens to be the candidate of choice of western Ukraine.

The thing that struck me is that, in this 45 degree weather, these fifteen hundred folks turned out not to hear this man speak in person, but to see it on a huge monitor on the steps of the opera house. He was speaking from Kyiv. Can you imagine? They could have watched from the comfort (and warmth!) of their homes, but they chose to come out, unify, and chant, cheer, sing, and experience a brotherhood that I've never been around before. I was standing there, and tears formed in my eyes. I'm not one to cry easily, normally, but I am finding that the more I am around these beautiful, passionate people who love their country and want to do everything to preserve their freedom, the more often I am moved to tears.

I know that in America there are people who care. I know this. I often have been one, but not to the degree that these people are. The status of the election still hangs in the balance here. They will have to vote again. Here they have a one man, one vote process, direct ballots. They were so close and there were so many falsifications that there will be a second vote in a week or two. The nation is terribly divided over the election. The east wants to remain eastern and choose Yanocovich, who Russia favors. The west wants to be more independent. I am so blessed to be here at such an important time for this newly independent country. It's only fourteen years old, but the history here, the culture is so rich and old that I am in awe of it. America is so young, and our culture still developing depth, that this is amazing to me. It really blows my mind.

I know I had a lot of apathy in the elections at home, because I disliked both big candidates, but being here is re-awakening a little of my patriotism. Honestly, from here on out, I really don't care if the person who is elected is liberal, conservative, whatever. I just hope America wins. And I hope Ukraine wins in this election, which in my opinion means Yuchinko. God is sovereign no matter what, though. So I will continue to pray for both countries. I would ask that you do the same.

well, i'm going to post something pseudo-political.


y'know after a year of campaigning on both sides of this whole election... hearing the liberals hate the conservatives, the conservatives hate the liberals... those of us in the middle wishing we had more options, and after being here in ukraine to see their election, i've come to make some really interesting observations.

in america we can choose our candidate based on such things as: stand on abortion, gun control, taxes, gay marriage, tolerance, etc... we complain, argue and basically make a federal case of these small things, then when it all comes down, choose on something that, while important to us, is, actually, probably rather arbitrary in the grand scheme of the world.

being here in ukraine, i've seen that these issues are not really discussed in the election. they have to choose their candidates based on whether or not they are pro-independence. wow. can you imagine... kinda makes me feel petty for pulling an eeny-meeny-miny-mo act on the ballot and choosing whom i thought to be the lesser of two evils.

i guess what i'm saying is that seeing things over here is really reminding me of just how blessed america really is. yes, we're screwy, yes, we have our share of idiots who would argue with a stop sign, but we also have the right to be idiots, and those rights are rarely called into question, and never really easily removed by our government... in fact, they're protected...

maybe this isn't the deepest or most well thought out thing i've ever written, but it's something i'm realizing and really thanking God for. even if i'm not doing a back-flip over bush winning (nor would i had kerry won), i'm still happy to know that i had the leisure of making my decision for my vote based on things much smaller than liberty, smaller than freedom... i pray that other countries will one day have this leisure too. long process, but a good, worthwhile one.