Jail or free-wheeling inbreeding

I have recently become an xbox 360 widow.

It was sad losing my Husband to Oblivion, but alas, I will survive. They say if you love something, let it go. I'm rather afraid of this. I mean, it's the freaking gates of Oblivion!

It's not really that bad. :)

I have started gardening. I am actually rather good at it. We went today and bought some plants to add to the few I already had and my herb garden. Matt also bought me a statuary of St. Francis. Now my itty bitty back porch is pretty. :)

Since we got a digital camera today, I will be posting some pictures of the flora (and occasionally fauna) that dwell in the tiny space known as the Wildeboer Veranda. I just like calling it that, it's really not one. It helps me to pretend that I don't live in an apartment building with a nice view of a retaining wall, the backside of Home Depot, and the corner of Walmart.

On to the pictures...
These are all my lovely flowers and herbs...



This is my Japanese maple, O-ren. She is one year old and very pretty. You can see St. Francis's head down below.



Here Kitty is having some type of Epiphany. At least the lighting makes it look that way. Good job St. Francis, she totally loves you!!!



At the end of the day, I still love the addict. I'm a glutton for punishment...

Zees Ameericans love getting zee tattoos. I get zees vun so zat my mazther and fazther von't screem at me. Also beecause came from deeeleecious fruitee treet.



At zee end of zee night, I admit zee feet. Vait, deefeet. Zis ees deeferent. I hope Zhanna ees happy vith zees blog. It make heer happy to see zee heestory of zee beeg Ameerican adventure.


Hey Zhanna, DON'T TURN HERE!!!!!!!!

Zees story of beeg American trip. Vee go to zee Deelons. Vas teztee.


Zhanna ees very ahngree. Zees make herr hott.


I reel Amereekan girl!! Ees vonderful, no?


Amereekans love zeer leetle men made of zee dough. Zees becauze zey look like zem. Fat and paztee.



In communeest Russia, food eet you, but here in Ameerica, zer is mooch food eeten by zee fat capitalists.



Capitaleests are stupid, but hey, FREEEEEEEEEE! Freeee to do zee feeling of good.

Infidelity and lots of it?

Bears (manly, surprisingly gay men)?

Beautiful black women in wigs?

When someone says something then echoes himself afterward for effect?

Barrettas?

Interracial relationships with "little people" who have a hard time controlling bodily functions?

Old ladies who come to the aid of neighbors in conflict by weilding spatulas?

Convoluted plots with no musical merit, but that are dang funny to watch and listen to?

Characters with names conveniently matched to the rhyme pattern of the music?

People who unecessarily add commentary to music that is itself commentary?

Hip Hopera?

Then you'll love this.



I can't believe I've not blogged about it yet. Go and rent, Netflix or whatever this movie TONIGHT. Gather a bunch of your most sarcastic friends. Pop popcorn, and WATCH.

I promise that you will hate it so much that you love it, and if you don't love it by the end, play the commentary with it, then love it.

R. Kelly's commentary is basically the best thing I've ever seen. For one thing, it's not a voice over. It's you watching him watch the movie on a big screen. He turns and addresses the camera, usually by stating exactly what was just stated in the song. Also, sometimes he just turns around and grins all self-satisfied as if to say, "I'm a genius. Love me and let me make pee pee on you."

I'm telling you: If you rent this and watch it MST3K style with the right people and don't laugh at LEAST once, you have no appreciation for mockery. I would deem your life very sad.

Hi everyone.

It's been an insane few weeks. Lots going on. I never really considered that being in youh ministry would be so time consuming, but I have news for you: It is!

I'm out of school this week. Our last day was Thursday, and I go back Sunday. I like teaching for the following two reasons: It's a real world job, but it has childhood holidays. :)

We returned last night around ten pm from our trip to Florida to see my family. Gosh, I miss them. We had a great time. I am eagerly awaiting their retirement in the next few years. They want to move to Dahlonega. I can't wait. I don't want for their eventual grandchildren to have to grow up far away from them.

The shining moment of our road trip occurred on I-75. We're driving, and I see one of those blasphemous God billboards. Yes, God, please communicate to us via eyesores on an otherwise pretty stretch of road. That seems ideal. Blech. Anyway, the billboard said something like, "I am the real chief Justice.--God" or something like that.

Right after it, I'm talking maybe 200 feet, I see another of this style sign. It read, "You can always look to me for direction.--Billboard." Hehe. It made me laugh. Take that cheesy, heavy-handed Christian advertisers. That'll teach you to steer out of your effective, biblical, relational approach!

Anyhow, I've determined to become pro-active in my ministerdom (is that a word?). Matt is technically the youth pastor, but he considers me his co-pastor. I find that this happens a lot in ministry couples because there are demographics within the church that one or the other cannot handle alone. You tell a twenty-something guy that he's got to tackle talking to the girls about purity and presenting themselves in a respectful way and you'll see what I mean. The flash of horror that arises in his eyes will surprise you.

Anywho, in my new pro-activity, I have taken on the daunting task of redecorating the youth room. The room is currently an icky dirty white walled, time-worn, fluorescent lighted nightmare. The kids don't pay attention well already, and putting them in this disorganized, ugly environment doesn't help. So I'm softening it. The end result will hopefully be a soft, comfy, living room meets starbucks type of feel. I'll post before/after pics as soon as I have them!